I Don't Even Know How to Respond to That

So, a few nights ago, we were all in the car. Gaga and I were in the front seats of Claire's van, Lennon and Shelby were in the middle and Granmommy and Mia were in the back. My memory is blurred a couple minutes in each direction of the conversation that unfolded, so I can't even tell you how this subject came up. Shelby eluded to the fact that he wouldn't necessarily "mind" having more kids. Immediate shock and horror overcame me. My reaction was to sort of nervously laugh and try to get a straight answer out of him as to if he was just sort of saying that or if he really wanted more kids. We didn't really get to the bottom of it, but then the saddest thing ever happened. When we stopped to get out Mia came to me seriously upset. She said she heard what Daddy had said and she wasn't very happy about it. She was on the verge of tears. I thought she was just being protective of me and didn't even know what we had been talking about, but was basing her reaction on my intensely oppositional reaction to Shelby. When she told me that what she thought he said was that he wouldn't mind having "different children," she burst into tears. The whole time we were talking in the car, she thought Shelby was suggesting that we get different children, not more children. She was so upset she could barely breathe. It was truly one of the saddest moments with Mia so far. I think everyone else at that point also had tears in their eyes. We reassured her that Daddy would never want different children and that the only reason he would even want more is because the two he has are so amazing.

Mia finally calmed down and went about her day, but I am still on the verge of a nervous breakdown at the thought of any more kids.