We had one of the most horrible days ever with Lennon yesterday. He literally screamed and cried all the way to Mia's school and all the way home. We walk and it's about a half mile each way, so ours ears were ringing by the time we got home. I was also watching Anderson for the day which made things tricky. It's a good thing Anderson is so easy going because Lennon was on a major rampage. If Anderson so much as considered looking at something that Lennon had ever considered looking at or playing with a sudden, loud SHRIEK would emit from the beast and he would come running screaming to yank his precious item away. Each time Anderson just let it go and looked at either me and Shelby as if to say, "what is his problem?" We would make Lennon give it back, go to time out, etc etc. Nothing worked. I would say for about an hour straight - at least - he was hysterical screaming. We tried taking him up to his bed to calm down. I tried everything I could think of. Shelby - new at the being home all the time to see Lennon's really really bad side when it comes out - did a great job improvising and trying to think of ways to calm Lennon down and get him to play nicely. It was a total Mr. Hyde moment for Lennon. He was horrible. Nothing we did or said was right. Finally Shelby got him calmed down by reading him some books. We even managed to convince him to share some of his canteloupe willingly with Anderson. We headed off to the park and afterwards it was lunch and naptime. After his nap he was a totally different kid. He was still a little cranky, but nothing like he had been in the morning. Then as the day got later he was suddenly in this awesome mood. He was being super silly and laughing and loving on all of us. I was definitely ready for some rest when it was time for him to go to bed, but it was still hard to put him down when he was being so much fun to hang out with.
I have to say, it was nice for Shelby to be there for that yesterday. I don't know if he ever really knew how hard it was for me those first 18 months when Lennon was like that most days. It's nice to feel like someone understands. Today was much better. Although this morning he wanted to go to the mall to pet the poor little doggies at the pet store and when we got there and the store opened the stupid lady wouldn't let us see a dog because "they hadn't even had their water yet." Well, as far as we could see no one was tending to their water quite yet anyway, so we didn't understand why we couldn't give these poor caged animals a little tlc. Oh well. Lennon took it pretty well and we headed off to the overpriced mechanical rides to spend a couple bucks before heading home.
I don't know what I'm doing with Lennon most of the time. I just try to do my best by him. With Mia I feel like most of the time I make good decisions and steer her the right direction, but with Lennon I feel totally lost a good amount of the time. I just hope I don't screw him up too badly. If I can screw my kids up equal amounts at least they will have each other to lean on in the end.
1 comment:
GAGA SAID: I so identify with what you just said. I always felt like I knew what I was doing with you first three - and then Jeremy was such a challenge, I was never sure of myself. It is nice when someone understands how difficult it is when you love a child with all your heart and they are also extremely difficult to deal with. You send yourself mixed messages.
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