If only I could affirm Lennon verbally and say, "Yes, you are the master of your destiny. No one but you is really in control here. We are just here to guide you along the way" then maybe he wouldn't feel the need to push down anyone that looked smaller than him in an attempt to test that hypothesis on his own. But, somehow, I don't think that would do the trick. So, I guess we'll just have to wait this phase out and hope that no one gets hurt and no parents get too angry with our seemingly reckless parenting of him. Love and understanding, that's what he needs. He's testing all his boundaries right now. Checking to see just how much power he has over what happens to him and around him. I need patience. Lots of patience and lots of wisdom to properly parent this gem of a child. I love him so so much it almost hurts sometimes, but then he can make me boil with anger in an instant like almost no one else on earth has ever done.
Lennon feels everything deeply. He laughs boisterously and wails like an angry dragon when all is not well. Nothing is taken light heartedly, excepting maybe the "talks" we have with him when he is being a little jerk to other kids. The second time he hit Bianca last weekend, we brought him inside for his time out and to really try to get through to him that it was not acceptable behavior.
Shelby: Lennon, I want you to repeat after me: I will not hit Bianca again.
Lennon: Dee dop bee bee ddddddrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Ike dat Daddy? (biggest grin he can muster)
Shelby: Lennon, say I will not hit Bianca again.
Lennon: Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrr dddeeee daa daa bap. (looking like The Cheshire Cat on happy pills)
And, really, at that point what can you do? I'm sure in the end, whatever way we end up "messing him up" will be completely different from any way we ever imagined was possible.
I love you my little dragon!
5 comments:
ugh! I'm sorry you're going through such a challenging time right now, Jenna! It sounds like you have a great attitude, but I know it's hard to maintain it when it's being challenged so frequently. My mantra since Ellie was born has been "if she didn't feel negative emotions so powerfully, she couldn't experience positive emotions so powerfully...and that would be no fun" (okay, it's not the most eloquent, but it works). Anyway, have you read Raising Your Spirited Child?
Welcome to my world - 23 odd years ago........Love you, Mom
It can be a very lonely world when you have a beautiful and talented child for whom your utter despair at your lack of understanding how to properly raise them is only surpassed by your unconditional love and acceptance of them. Even when your children are grown, you will never be able to discern between those moments that pointed them to God and those that pointed them away from Him. But, one thing is for sure - mothers always THINK that whatever glory or whatever pitfalls come the way of your children, it was their fault. I love you, Mom
Correction - Mom's think it was the Mom's fault. I made it sound like it was the children's fault. That would be nice, but Mothers will never get out with a clear conscience if their children have problems. Love you, Mom
Thanks Adrienne, I have skimmed through that book and many many many many others. He goes through phases. As of the last few days he's been in a fantastic phase and is such a joy to be around. He's hilarious and awesome when he's good and just so so so frustrating when he's not.
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