Monday, November 17, 2008

Growing Up. Me too, hopefully.


Well, Mia now has three loose teeth, none of which will come out any time soon I imagine as she does not really like to wiggle them very much.  I understand I was much the same way.  The one on top however is super loose and probably could come out any day if she gave it proper wiggle attention.  It has been loose since right around the end of kindergarten I think which means it's been about 6 months.  She came home from school today with a necklace her friend had lent her with a dragon on it.  She said her friend was a fortune teller and that this necklace could tell you which chinese animal year you were born in.  ???  Who knows.  Anyway, that brings me to - we are more strongly than ever, considering taking her out of school and doing the home school thing.  At least until we get to Austin and can either put her in a good public school or can afford a good private school.  In either case it couldn't be much worse than her current school.  We even think the lunch lady has been rippin' kids off.  I have heard more than one story about kids getting incorrect change or no change at all when the lunch lady is "out of change."  Whatever.  We are going to start looking into different curriculum and talking with different moms I know who do home school.  My biggest concern really is that Mia would hate being away from kids all day.  I would definitely need to find several other families with kids her age range to hang with during the week.  It could be really awesome.  One thing that really spurred us on to this decision was that she recently came home from school and cried her eyes out saying that she was "the most badest behaviored kid in the whole school."  And that she "gets talked to every day."  All this because basically she can't stop talking to whoever she is sitting next to.  Her teacher has moved her about a million times to try to find people Mia won't chat with.  The problem is that Mia doesn't really discriminate when it comes to kids.  She will be friends with anyone, anywhere, anytime.  If there is a kid around, she will find it and talk to it.  Also, we have noticed since she has started to school she has been less creative when at home, doing less art work, less dress up and definitely had less self esteem.  When she brings art home it is often a copy of whoever was sitting next to her in art class.  She doesn't trust her own instincts anymore.  It may seem dramatic for first grade, but I was talking with my friend Claire today and she is usually brutally honest and she said, when I asked her, that Mia was definitely "cooler"  before she started school.  She said she had never heard Mia "sass" anyone previous to public school.  I know some of that could just be her age, but I have seen nothing but negative impacts on her behavior since she went to school.  Not that she is poorly behaved by any means, but the Mia that walked into kindergarten a year and a half ago is not the same Mia we have today.  I just don't think the school environment allows her to be her full, sweet, creative, loving, vibrant, crazy, loud, energetic self.  

Concurrently, it has been brought to my attention that my being critical of Mia has significantly affected her view of herself.  I know and admit that I am hard on her.  I know that that is perfectly normal for first children etc, etc.  I didn't realize though that my criticisms of her were making her think she wasn't good enough.  So, I asked everyone at my mom's group to pray for me, I made a personal dedication to be different with her and I put up sticky notes all over the house to remind me to be patient with her.  It's not that I scream and yell all the time, it's more a constant snipping at her about everything.  Tonight she spilled a huge cup of water all over the couch.  Although this seems like no big deal it is something that I may have gotten frustrated with her about and sort of made a big deal out of even though it is just water after all.  She had also earlier today left a cup of water on the edge of the table and Lennon picked it up and spilled it all over the kitchen floor.  In both instances I just calmly cleaned it up without really saying much at all to her.  I asked her to be more careful and when I was cleaning up the water on the couch she made some comment about how it was her fault, but I told her it was just water and not a big deal.  Even as I write this I am thinking "why would I have made this silly situations seem like big deals?"  It seems crazy.  I think that over the last year I've just had such a hard time with Lennon that there wasn't much left for anything/anyone else.  It's not an excuse for bad behavior, just what I think is the root of me being such an uptight jerk.  So, if you see me being a jerk to that sweet little girl the next time you see me let me know.  Remind me of my decision and help me get back on track.  Now it's your problem too!  Thanks for your help!

3 comments:

Hillary Adams said...

You are an awesome mommy Jenna:) I think being aware of and caring so much about being critical is proof of that. I love you and can't wait for your babies to be here at Christmas. By the way. . .I will take care of anyone who says my niece is "the most badest kid." I too was a talker. . .there's nothing wrong with having superior people skills!

Hillary Adams said...

ps-AWESOME picture of Mia!!! The fact that she can wear Lennon's pants is hysterical!

Adrienne said...

Hey Jenna! You are amazing! How honest (and brave) to put all of this in writing -- Mia is so lucky to have a mom who cares so much. I obviously don't get to see you all very often, but I've never seen you be anything other than a fantastic mom! You're definitely on my "top 5 best moms" list!! Good luck with the home schooling decision.