I'm a Big Huge Baby

So after just over one week into keeping Teddy, I don't think I'm going to be able to do it.  It's just too much stress for me.  I was just getting to a good place with Lennon and now it's been thrown for a crazy loop.  Especially since we are most likely going to have Mia home for school sometime in the next month or so.  I feel really horrible and don't know how to talk to Stefani about it.  I just hope she can find someone else to do it before too long because I want out as soon as possible.  I'm just holding Teddy all day and then once he's gone, Mia's home.  I think if he were my own it wouldn't be so bad cause if I were holding him and neglecting Lennon at least I would know it was for the good of one of my kids rather than feeling like I'm putting money ahead of my kids happiness.  We'll see what happens.  I'm a huge chicken and can't even imagine talking to Stefani about it, but I'm going to have to get up the nerve soon so she can find someone else.